I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
