he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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