So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate your face
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
