with your own penis?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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