My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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