her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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