It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
