they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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