he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
