they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They took my balls.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
