...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
