u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
