I love black thongs
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
