This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
