I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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