You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
