Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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