Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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