dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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