I look better un-naked...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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