I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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