dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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