Your face is a jimmy john
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize