i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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