I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
