I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
