You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize