the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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