he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
