Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
