Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
