Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
