Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
