She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
