awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think people are normalizing furries
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night