I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize