dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
