I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
