FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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