i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
