I wish I only lived at night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
