The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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