Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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