I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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