she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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