I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
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Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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