Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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