just tell him i said nine months
Need sex. Gaining weight.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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