Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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