just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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