Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
