so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
