Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize