I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
whose ass print is on the piano?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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