My nipple is on Facebook.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
