For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
