Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
