The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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